wanting it both ways


i was going through old papers and i found some drawings from that period in high school when i spent all my free time watching movies from the public library, whose film section was probably in the late stages of transition from VHS to DVD, and i was still amazed by how cleanly and easily you could pause a DVD in order to study a face, or draw one. i think there were at least three more, but these are the ones i kept—nicole kidman in the portrait of a lady, linda manz in days of heaven, and montgomery clift in the heiress. because this was also a period of (i think it’s fair to say) obsession with dates, and with keeping a record of everything i did in a way that now feels completely alien to me, i know that i watched these movies and made these sketches on, respectively, september 6, 2003; september 7, 2003; and august 1, 2004.

I really understand why people get obsessed with this story.

I really understand why people get obsessed with this story.

The last sentence I ever write for McGill seems à propos:

That is, the ending is exciting by virtue of the fact that the very possibility of an ending to Justine is exciting—not only because the reader might be exhausted at this point, but because any ending suggests some degree of escape, for both reader and Justine.
I am Justine.